I've been reading a lot about the love languages lately and it made me ponder something. What happens when those closest to us have love languages that are different from our own? For example mine is 'words of affirmation', my husband's is 'acts of service', my son's is 'physical touch' and my daughter's is 'quality time'. This particular love language however is not one of my main ones....I'm too frazzled...too easily distracted. But because it is my daughter's love language I need to make more of an effort. That is what true love does anyway...goes through the cross...dying to self in order to love more effectively.
We are not called to go out searching for the perfect people to love...but to love our 'neighbor'...those that God has put into our lives, regardless of how inconvenient or uncomfortable that may be at times.
That reminds me of the following story...
A man spoke with the Lord about heaven and hell. The Lord said to the man, "Come, I will show you hell."
They entered a room where a group of people sat around a huge pot of stew. Everyone was famished, desperate and starving. Each held a spoon that reached the pot, but each spoon had a handle so much longer than their own arm that it could not be used to get the stew into their own mouths. The suffering was terrible.
"Come, now I will show you heaven," the Lord said after a while. They entered another room, identical to the first -- the pot of stew, the group of people, the same long-handled spoons. But there everyone was happy and well-nourished. "I don't understand," said the man. "Why are they happy here when they were miserable in the other room and everything was the same?"
The Lord smiled, "Ah, it is simple," he said. "Here they have learned to feed each other."
I think that our love languages are our "spoons". We may be tempted to get fixated on getting ourselves fed with it...but the real objective is to feed others. Once that is taking place, I think we will be greatly surprised at how satiated we feel. Either because The Lord has fed us Himself, or He has sent others unto our path to do so.
They entered a room where a group of people sat around a huge pot of stew. Everyone was famished, desperate and starving. Each held a spoon that reached the pot, but each spoon had a handle so much longer than their own arm that it could not be used to get the stew into their own mouths. The suffering was terrible.
"Come, now I will show you heaven," the Lord said after a while. They entered another room, identical to the first -- the pot of stew, the group of people, the same long-handled spoons. But there everyone was happy and well-nourished. "I don't understand," said the man. "Why are they happy here when they were miserable in the other room and everything was the same?"
The Lord smiled, "Ah, it is simple," he said. "Here they have learned to feed each other."
I think that our love languages are our "spoons". We may be tempted to get fixated on getting ourselves fed with it...but the real objective is to feed others. Once that is taking place, I think we will be greatly surprised at how satiated we feel. Either because The Lord has fed us Himself, or He has sent others unto our path to do so.
So go ahead use your own love language, it is a gift from God to be used as your particular ministry...but don't shy away from loving in ways that may seem foreign to you either...it is these that will help you to grow and mature in The Lord.
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